Thursday, November 30, 2006

Cameron attacks Livingstone

Words of wisdom from the Conservative Party leader.
Tory leader David Cameron has attacked the mayor of London as an "ageing far left politician" hanging onto outdated notions about ethnic minorities. He said Ken Livingstone preferred to see them as "potential agents of revolutionary change" rather than as equals who just wanted a better life.
David Cameron often infuriates me, but this is a perfect summing up of Ken Livingstone's views on race. He sees racism as a good thing and wants to put people into victim groups, because it furthers his cause. Mr Cameron's view is far better.
He added that they should be seen as "full and equal citizens who would rather build a better life for themselves and their families than man the barricades at the behest of middle class white fantasists".
He has Ken bang to rights.

11 comments:

AllBloodyTaken said...

The Squirrel & The Grasshopper, (REST OF THE WORLD VERSION)

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The

grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter the squirrel is warm and well fed. The

grasshopper is hungry and in the cold.

THE END

The Squirrel & The Grasshopper, (THE BRITISH VERSION)

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The

grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the Summer away. Come winter the squirrel is warm and well fed. A social

worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well

fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home

with a table laden with food. The British press informs people that they should be ashamed that in country of such wealth, this poor

grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and newly formed The Grasshopper

Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house.The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special live from Notting Hill with

breaking news, broadcasts a multi cultural choir singing "We shall overcome". Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald

that the squirrel has gotten rich off the backs of the grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay

his "fair share" and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London.

In response to pressure from the media, the government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive
to the beginning of summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as

builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to
work.

The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can
be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start

building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilizes it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had

hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport

because of Britain's apparent love for dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the

police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to then return them to their own country were abandoned

because it was feared they may face death by mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from peoples credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the
council house he is in crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate

government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers "illness". The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since

arrival in UK.

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released

immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the supervisory care of the probation service to monitor him.

Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry that will eventually cost 10,000,000 pounds and state the obvious is set up.

Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is
increased. The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity and dogs are criticized
by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of press blame it on the failings of the government to address the root causes
of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience in prison. They call for the resignation of a minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in
the UK.

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on
their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay for law and order and they are told that they will have to work beyond

65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END

Anonymous said...
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Serf said...

All Bloody Taken

Can I use that elsewhere? I will credit you.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Ken aint so bad.

Would you rather have had Archer?!

Anonymous said...

Both the Halifax and the Nationwide have reported that prices have risen steadily this year, while the high number of new mortgages being approved suggest that the market will stay buoyant in the coming months.
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Serf said...

Ken aint so bad.

Would you rather have had Archer?!


What part of Anyone But Ken don't you understand? I'd take the Devil himself.

Anonymous said...
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Summa said...

More Red Ken despotism...

Mayor's clean-up puts cat among pigeons
Last Updated: 2:35am GMT 13/12/2006



The daily hosing down ceremony in Trafalgar Square yesterday came as pigeon lovers announced they were taking the Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, to court to force him to let them continue feeding the birds.

The Save the Trafalgar Square Pigeons group has been fighting the mayor's plan instigated six years ago to rid the square of its pigeons.

The group says the mayor has broken an agreement to allow them to feed the birds. Mr Livingstone said it withdrew permission for the scheme in June after "rogue" feeding on the north terrace.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/12/13/npige13.xml

Summa said...

More Red Ken despotism...

Mayor's clean-up puts cat among pigeons

Last Updated: 2:35am GMT 13/12/2006

The daily hosing down ceremony in Trafalgar Square yesterday came as pigeon lovers announced they were taking the Mayor of London, Ken Livingstone, to court to force him to let them continue feeding the birds.

The Save the Trafalgar Square Pigeons group has been fighting the mayor's plan instigated six years ago to rid the square of its pigeons.

The group says the mayor has broken an agreement to allow them to feed the birds. Mr Livingstone said it withdrew permission for the scheme in June after "rogue" feeding on the north terrace.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/12/13/npige13.xml

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.